Boobquake Update

April 26th has come and gone. Did the explosion of immodestly Jen McCreight inspired cause the earth to shake?

No. Jen’s mockery of an Iranian cleric has gotten a lot of great press; when Stephen Colbert picks up your story, you know you’ve made it. I also loved hearing Wait Wait… Don’t Tell Me! interview Dr. Peggy Helwig, a research seismologist at the Berkely Seismology Lab in Berkeley, CA, who helpfully explained: “I am an expert in earthquakes because I study them, and I’m an expert in clevage because I have it.”

Unfortunately, a lot of the reporting, including Colbert’s, implied that a large earthquake in Taiwan on the 26th was a embarrassment to the whole project. This is not true. Let’s go to the tape:

That little red dot is Boobquake. McCreight wrote a great article for The Guardian called What I Learned from Boobquake that presents her statistical analysis. Her confidence that cleavage doesn’t have a geological effect was fully justified. “Not only did all of the earthquakes on Boobquake fall within the normal range of magnitudes,” she found, “but the mean magnitude actually decreased slightly! Maybe God actually approves of hot pants.”

The statistics this little jokey experiment uncovered are absolutely fascinating. Did you know there are an average of 134 earthquakes with a magnitude of 6 to 6.9 every year? That’s more than one every three days, and those are serious quakes. And there are over one thousand earthquakes with a magnitude of 5 to 5.9 every year: many more than one per day.

Many thanks to The Skeptic’s Guide to the Universe for (as always) providing entertaining and enlightening coverage of the Boobquake conversation. Since the internet is magic, actual Iranians have responded to Jen’s proposal; she’s collected a wonderful sampling of these comments here. I’m fully on board with the pact with Iranians that the Skeptic’s Guide crew proposed: we won’t judge you on your your wacko crazies if you don’t judge us on Pat Robertson and Jerry Fallwell.

Rebecca Watson of the Guide (and Skepchick) followed up with this great YouTube video: Iranian reactions & further discussion one minute in.

I’m with her. What is up with European countries banning articles of clothing recently? It’s unsettling to watch a continent that prides itself on tolerance and progress justify such stupid, illiberal laws. We’ve all got a way to go.

“We Are Searching For Haiti”

This week Studio 360, an arts and culture podcast, went to Brooklyn to profile Djarara. All fifteen members of the rara band lost someone in the earthquake. The musicians do a beautiful job explaining how and why they look to music and tradition in the aftermath of the disaster. “Haiti will get better,” one says. “We are searching for Haiti. For a better Haiti… But don’t worry. Haiti will be Haiti again.” Listen:

Courage in Creole

Explore Haitian aid donations here (J.P.Morgan Chase, 1 million; Czech Republic, 1.25 million; Gisele Bundchen, 1.5 million). The Red Cross was reporting on January 18th that around half of its donations, or seven million dollars, had come in by text.

Djarara in Prospect Park

Learn more about rara and Studio 360.

Hope for Haiti

This week Haiti has never been far from my thoughts. I feel very sad, humbled, and impotently angry. All my mighty cynicism about television news can’t defang the images on CNN these last few days. The facts are impossible and unbearable.

This is where storytelling matters. We could easily despair, with good cause, in the face of such monstrous unfairness and heartbreak. It would be entierly appropriate, but it benefits no one if we shut down. We need to continue taking our daily footsteps, planning for the future. It’s tempting to turn off the TV and forget; we all know how well we forget, and that sometimes we have to to keep from drowning. But we can also tell stories that let us stay present while retaining (inventing?) hope.

1. Text “Haiti” to 90999 to donate $10 to the International Response Fund.

Our power to quickly and cheaply share information and resources is very recent, completely miraculous, and potentially transformative. The earth has been killing and maiming us for 200,000 years; we are not ignorant, nor impotent, anymore. “Social networking” often seems silly, but a week like this helps us remember what a blessing it is to be connected to each other. My hopeful story: we care about each other’s well being, even across oceans, and we have the ability to act, even across oceans, more than ever before.

2. There is no evil here.

It’s easy to assume that our greatest enemies are other humans, especially after studying the wretched twentieth century. I don’t think this was ever true, and it seems to be increasingly false. It’s small comfort today, but these mass graves were not the result of any human intention. My hopeful story: we’re all on the same side here, as we increasingly are, struggling against natural forces (disease, poverty) instead of each other.

3. There is, incredibly, grace here.

Humans have endured impossible hardships and found hope in hopeless situations throughout history. This week has been no different. I am proud of the US Marines, NYC firefighters, and doctors from all over who travelled to Haiti this week to help. I am even more proud of the Haitians who have responded with vigor and grace. Some have marched and danced through the streets. My hopeful story: it is a blessing, an inspiration, and a privilege to share a planet with such people.

Give all you can, extend your best wishes to all affected, and find stories that keep you going. This isn’t about denying or forgetting horror and heartache. Storytelling is a creative and willful act that lets us hope, work, and find meaning when the facts would suggest we stop. Don’t stop.